Far From Bloggin' I Was Reared

When I stumbled upon this photo of my sassy younger self, there was really no denying it - the pic had woman power written all over it . *Dayum*.   Naturally, I asked my inner child what tips and tricks for achieving woman power could be drawn from the candid scene for the benefit of womankind. In no particular order, some tricks are as follows: *Cool way of saying 'damn', as an exclamation of peculiar respect or admiration, not as condemnation to hell. Exhibit A : 'Being myself' 1. B urself.   (Exhibit A) If you don't know who you are yet, don't panic. It will hit you one day like a fabulous shot on the beach. 2. If you don't feel like shaving your legs, don't. It won't make you any better or worse at building sandcastles or catching waves than you already are. 3. Wear blue and green , without a colour in between. Oh you heard me. Defy those societally imposed parameters of fashion and life. Be seen! Green because obviously you'...

Waitress Incognito wishes to formally apologize for assuming that one post alone would be enough to aptly reflect the vast repertoire of skills and insights in her possession as a server-come-blogger. It is unfair, she concedes, morally wrong perhaps,  to deny the public any further of such vocational learning's so integral to society as a healthy, functioning and cultivated unit. In keeping with moral principles, the author expresses the insufferable guilt of trying to ignore her beloved fans, who just keep on begging for more.. (you know who you are, Mother Incognito ).  A minimal charging fee may be applied for any tips, tricks, insights shared or requested by followers hereafter, at the sole discretion of the Waitress Incognito. This follows the advice of her *legal team who maintain that, 'they [the public] just use your mind, and they never give you credit'. It is necessary to address the, 'its all takin' and no givin' culture of today before it gets ...

Foreword about the author/note of reassurance to future employers: Waitress Incognito is contrary to what the following post may lead you to believe, an excellent, considerate and highly attentive waitress who wishes nothing more than to serve happiness and joy on a plate and in person to everyone she meets. The author wishes to thank every customer past, present and future for enriching her life with experiences and insights into the human psyche that she admittedly sometimes wishes she never had to discover but is ultimately grateful for and, without which, would not have crafted her into the reasonably competent waitress and human she is today. Waitress Incognito requests that the public respect her privacy and contact her Personal Assistant (see below) should they wish to employ her for future waitressing gigs, signings and celebrity endorsements. It is recommended that the following content be read in jest and consumed akin to that of the bland meals she serves at work, that ...